I am a 39ish year old, married mother of three teenagers. My drinking didn't become abnormal until my early 30's. I knew for quite some time that I had a problem, but was unwilling to consider I was an alcoholic. I'm educated. I had a successful career, healthy children, financial security and a happy marriage. I wasn't your stereotypical alcoholic! I never had a DUI, missed work because I was drunk, made a fool of myself or endangered anyone. I just liked to drink at my kitchen. The narratives found here detail my journey from awareness, to acceptance, to surrender and finally to victory. In 2 Corinthians 12, Paul shares about the "thorn in his side." He begged the Lord to take it away, but God revealed the need for that thorn to keep Paul humble and dependent upon God for strength in enduring his weaknesses. I now know that my alcoholism is the thorn I've been given to grow in my faith, and to continue to lean on God for support and strength in staying sober, and living my best life.

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While I knew I had a problem long before I got help, I resisted the idea for one reason: I didn’t think anyone else would understand. I believed I was the only one in my situation, feeling those feelings. I felt all alone. Through working my 12 step program, I’ve come to meet hundreds of others JUST LIKE ME. Since regaining “clarity of mind,” and by being fully present in my own life, I now understand more about my alcoholic behaviors, the vicious cycle that held me hostage for so long, and how my addiction and recovery impact others. I feel called to bring more attention to the truths of this disease, help expose the lies we tell ourselves, and shed light upon the many blessings that come in recovery. Sobriety is better than I ever imagined and I long to help anyone else questioning, or fearing the changes that come with it, to understand that the miracle is possible-I'm living it. I want to "plant these seeds" of hope by speaking to others about what I've learned through my own experiences so that they know they're not alone either.

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